Peace and happiness…

I confess that yesterday’s post took it out of me. When the heart knows that there is so much to be done and so many children hurting, it is painful. I want to scoop everyone of the hurting children up in my arms and soothe them. I want to feed them and clothe them. I want to be a loving grandmother to them. But, of course, that’s impossible. So, I began the search to see what I could do here…on limited resources and energy. I would love to sit in the nursery at the hospital and rock babies who don’t have enough visitors. I am a Registered Nurse but I don’t want that role with the babies. I just want to comfort and cuddle them. I haven’t looked into that one yet. There is a possibility I could work with young adults with special needs. I think it would also be fun to work in a soup kitchen. I am researching and praying about it.

In the meantime, I needed some endorphins! I needed a sense of well being and the reassurance that not every child in this world is in harms’ way. So, I invited myself to an afternoon of play and dinner at my daughter’s house (I have an open invitation). I picked a good night because she was preparing Ree Drummond’s lasagna and fabulous homemade bread from the Amy’s Bread cookbook.

While my daughter and my sixteen year old grandson ran some errands, I stayed with the other children and finished rotating the homemade chocolate chip cookie batches through the oven. My five year old grandson wanted to play but I was manning the oven, so I suggested that I introduce him to a little 50’s and 60’s music. His dad has introduced him to the 80’s music, so he thought that was a cool idea. We began with Rockin’ Robin. Remember that one? Try standing still listening to that! Then Splish-Splash, I Was Taking a Bath! Then I wanted to introduce him to one of my lifetime favorites: Elvis Presley! I knew to choose wisely of course. He is, after all, only five but this sweet grandson has more than his share of rhythm…just like Grandmommy! 😉 So we listened to Teddy Bear, Don’t Be Cruel and then the movie clip from G.I. Blues where Elvis sings Wooden Heart in a puppet booth. We had a good time and, about that time, my daughter and grandson were back.

I returned home refreshed with leftover lasagna and bread…and a sense of peace and happiness.

The past few months have been a challenge. I’ve been through enough changes in my life that I scored quite high on the “stress level” meter. I have fought to remain positive but, as you already know, that is sometimes beyond our reach. When I first arrived in the Midwest six months ago, I spent two months living with my daughter and her precious family (my grandchildren thought they’d hit the jackpot!). My belongings were stored floor to ceiling in her garage. Not one word of complaint from her or my son-in-love, an amazing young man.

When the worst of the depression hit months ago, I spent four days in an out-patient “depression class” which lasted all day long. (Remember I was a Psych nurse for ten years and believe in getting help when needed!) When my grandchildren asked where I went early each morning, my daughter simply said “she’s going to a depression class”. Each night at dinner, I had tales about who had joined the class that day (no names or details of course). One day, a beautiful young Sandra Bullock-look-alike joined the class. The next day it was Al Pacino’s double! On my last day, Dennis Hopper showed up (nevermind he had died by then). There was laughter at the dinner table and my grandchildren were so happy that Grandmom “graduated first in her class from depression school”! Their words – not mine! Mainly, they were glad I was home again during the day.

When the time came for me to move into my own apartment/condo, my grandchildren weren’t so sure they wanted to part with me. Thankfully, I’m only 14 minutes from them if I hit all the green lights just so. They love coming over here. They are my little kindred spirits. They can read me like a book. Especially my eight year old granddaughter. She searches my face for signs that I am fine. I may think that I am hiding tears or sadness from them, but they are not to be fooled. Thankfully, there are very few tears now and even though they don’t realize it – they remind me, once again, that I am strong. I am thankful for my daughter who is the biggest kindred spirit of all. I am thankful for the closeness and the memories we are making.

Spending time playing with grandchildren is the very best therapy in the world. Anytime I am at my daughter’s or they are here, there is an abundance of laughter. Laughter releases endorphins, the body’s natural painkiller, and makes anyone feel good…